WakingUp.net

Structure is any success that stems from a workable structure. It is an outline that guides us. Structures cornerstones are values and goals.

When people think about what they want out of their lives, they often answer simplistically that they want to be happy, but what leads to happiness, peace, and satisfaction? Your values play a large role in your level of happiness. WakingUp.net believes that life satisfaction comes from realizing one's values, developing goals from those values, and committing to the pursuit of achieving those goals.

If you want to make a positive change in your life, there is no time like the present to take action. First, take out a piece of paper and a writing utensil.

Directions: write our a page or two describing your ideal life, if it could be any way you wanted. Go ahead and dream. Don't limit yourself by avoiding what you think are unrealistic fantasies. Write how you would be spending your time, what kind of job you would have, how much money you wold make, what your relationships with friends and family would be like, what kinds of hobbies you would pursue, etc.

Now read it through and take our any grand illusions that are obvious buffoonery (e.g. I want to be richer than Bill Gates). What many people find is that their dream life is not impossible. Yes, it would be a lot of work, but it is not out of the spectrum of possibilities (by the way, life is a lot of work, and you might as well get used to it and find a way to get results).

From this ideal life you have outlined, begin to identify and understand from it what you VALUE.

 

Structure Concept 1: Values and Goals

 

VALUES

Values are what are most important to you in your life. They are what come first, your priorities, your interests, and if followed, they are SATISFYING.

However, we often do not follow our Values in daily life. We get caught up in day-to-day minutiae to the extent that our stated priorities are ignored. Thus, each day can be a set of reactionary responses to the needs and values of other people. At the end of the day, we often feel empty and dissatisfied because we have just traveled from dawn to dusk without any substance or accomplishment.

For example, a business man may state that his family is his highest priority, yet he is gone before the kids wake up and unavailable when he returns home because of office work, laundry, dishes, etc. He is not being true to his values of fostering his relationship with his children. Ether that, or his time management skills are ineffective. Because his behavior is not in line with his values, he is STRESSED. 

Without a clear understanding of our values, we cannot establish goals that will satisfy us when accomplished. It is important to establish goals to guide our daily behavior because otherwise, we are doomed to the immediacy of the moment, doing what is simply easiest, which is probably not what we want. 

People often make choices without understanding their priorities, and are then on a path they despise. Someone, for example, may pick a career for financial security only to realize that financial security was not more important than passion and enjoyment. 

"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after." - Thoreau

 So, let's outline our values by determining what we love and which of our priorities are the most important.

It helps to list our values in a variety of areas. One example is as follows:

1. Spouse or Significant Other
2. Children
3. Extended Family
4. Occupation
5. Financial
6. Health
7. Personal Accomplishment
8. Community Service
9. Spirituality 

Feel free to change or add anything you want; it is your life. These categories give us a general overview to guide us towards the main areas of our lives. For each of these, we can determine what we want. Prioritize each value from most to least important. You can then begin to structure your time and energy in accordance with your priority list.

WakingUp.net believes that life satisfaction comes by living true to our values through our behavior. Goals are how we bring our values to life. 

GOALS

"How can you reach a goal that you do not have?" - Zig Zigler

Goals structure our time and aim our behavior in a satisfying direction. We are at peace when we are fully engaged in meaningful activity that is true to our values.

VALUES and GOALS can be summarized in a number of way.

1. Mission Statement. This is sort of a long thesis, about a paragraph long, that outlines what we intend to pursue and accomplish based on what we value. It doesn't have to be fancy or long.
2. Our Obituary. This is like writing down the legacy you want for yourself. By writing out what we would want written about us when we die, we can crystallize what we want to be known for, what we want to stand for, and what we want to accomplish. 
3. Our Epitaph. Write down a short statement that we would like to be written about us on our tombstone that summarizes our individual style of life.

Goals, even large and complex ones, can be broken down into individual steps that are more manageable. The steps can be daily, weekly, or even yearly.

Setting up our daily life to achieve our goals can lead to satisfaction, but deviation can lead to distress. Inevitable distractions will arise, a but a steady target will bring us back to center.

Now you have outlined your values, set up goals for all areas of your life, both short and long term. These goals should be realistic, yet stretch your possibilities. Satisfaction will only result from commitment, not a lightweight goal. A worthy goal is one that you would be very happy both pursuing and achieving, thus it needs to be as grand as you make it.

Goals also need to be something OBSERVABLE and MEASURABLE. For example, "I want to lose 30 pounds this year" rather than "I want to be skinny". 

Utilize the skills in the Function section to help you deal with day-to-day distractions and frustrations. The combination of skills will give you a powerful tool for life satisfaction.