WakingUp.net

All of us must learn a way to calm ourselves down when we are overwhelmed. If we do not, we struggle with anxiety, depression, and poor impulse control. We react without forethought, and our actions can lead to further dissatisfaction. Our lives become a series of one unpredictable trauma after another, like a sea of waves with no rhyme or reason, and us without a lifeboat or protection.

Yet this is how many people live.

As we mature, soothing ourselves is a critical skill to develop. In our mother's womb, we were completely protected; our every need attented do before we even knew it existed.One born, our caregivers continued to anticipate our needs with very lttle reminder, except for an occasional cry or foul smell.

Then it was time to sleep through the night. The reason our parents let us cry ourselves to sleep was so that we could find a way to soothe our souls - a way to settle ourselves down. Our parents constantly deliberated the line between satisfying out needs too well so that we never learned this skill, or being inattentive to the point that we were overwhelmed.

So, how do we settle oursevles down?

We all have ways, but they may not be truly effective. Some of us drink alcohol or take drugs, smoke cigarettes, yell at our spouses or children, or other inappropriate ways of discharging negative feelings.

Here, we will look at the highly effective technique of MEDITATION, and we will add all the other skills to this central feature, in the end leaving the reader with a process to handle any of life's challenges with a measure of dignity and satisfaction.

MEDITATION

Meditation is the process by which we separate ourselves from our situation by going somewhere private and sitting quietly. There are many forms, and WakingUp.net is not attached to any specific one. In one simple style, one sits wth eyes closed and follows one's breath in and out, in and out. People often have difficulty with this. Coaching through the message board can help, and there are lots of books on the subject that are also helpful. Recurring thoughts, emotions, and physical symptoms come up routinely in meditation. Whatever happens, you need to let happen. Do not judge your experience, but watch your reactions. Thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations will typically and automatically appear. Notice them and let them pass, returning your attention to your breathing. Keep up a daily practice of 20 minutes of meditation. Pick a quiet place to sit, and make yourself comfortable, but not too comfotable because sleeping is not the goal but rather to relax. The goal is to become aware and to WAKE UP.

There are two main purposes WakingUp.net recommends a daily practice of meditation:

1.  Meditating reduces overall phsiological tone. Numberous studies have shown that meditating reduces any numbr of aches and pains from muscle strain to fibromyalgia, migraine headaches and irritable bowel symptoms.

2.  Focusing on one's breath, suspending all other physical and mental operations allows us to observe the continuous automatic thoughts, feelings and physical sensations that shape and often control our moment-to-moment decisions and relations. These automatic patterns may fall beneath our conscious awareness, but they are limitations to our ability to enjoy ourselves. Some thoughts and feelings are negative and may have been formed years ago, are no longer correct or necessary, yet they are shaping us continuously. It is important that we monitor the dialogue that goes on inside our heads, called self–talk. Negative comments about the situation and thoughts putting ourselves down are destructive to our well-being. Thoughts such as "I'm no good" or "I hate that" may be taken at face value without any assessment, causing erroneous decisions and actions. By observing and learning our automatic patterns of behavior, we can then be free to choose another, healthier route.

Meditation can help manage any situation to cool down, whether it is anger, anxiety, a negative situation, etc. Practice gives it effectiveness.