WakingUp.net

Many people do not clearly ask for what they want. One you clearly establish your values and goals, determining what you want is easy. However, asking for it doesn't happen, maybe because we fear rejection or feel we don't deserve what we want. Often we feel that the person we want something from should already know what we want and we shouldn't have to ask for it.

You may think rolling your eyes or sighing is an effective communication technique, but of course, it is not.

We have excuses:

• "I have been married 29 years. My husband should know by now to mow the lawn on Saturday."
• "My boss knows he's piling up the work. Besides, he won't change if I ask him."  

When we ask for what we want, we are often vague:

• "I need your help." (What does that mean?)
• "I'm so tired tonight." (So, what am I supposed to do?)
• "If you CARED, you would know." (Good grief.)

ASK for what you want:

• "Will you mow the lawn on Saturday mornings?" 
• "Can I give my accounting duties to someone else so I can get my project done on time?"
• "Will you give me a hug and ask me how my day went when I come home from work?"

Even if the person's response is "no", you have created an opportunity for negotiation and opened up the lines of communication. This is a much better way of handling the situation rather than holding negative feelings in or saying vague comments that do not get the message across.

As you go through your day, try and notice if you are clearly asking for what you want, and if you are not, BE CLEAR!